me, sitting on a throne barechested but wearing ornately engraved plate armor on my arms and legs and cloaked in fine almost translucent silks with an enormous snake draped over my shoulders: i got lost in the fantasy of this dope outfit and forgot what kinda post i was gonna make
good morning everyone my pig stole a box of top ramen out of the pantry, ate 11 bags, then laid in the noodley carnage how are you all doing
if anyone is interested in an update on his royal swineness, today he had some delicious popcorn kernels for breakfast. this was the second bag (notice the other nearly empty one under his back foot)
Update?
On today’s menu: cat food, wine mulling spices, tapioca mix
You need to pig proof your pantry
The house is under construction and we can’t put a door on it yet 😭 I blocked the door with a card table but it’s only a matter of time until he breaks in
Guys really be out here thinking I won’t smash a wine bottle over their head
I recommend a beer bottle or a glass tumbler. Wine bottles are very hard to shatter, and you’re more likely to split a man’s skull open and cause permanent “attempted murder”-type brain damage, and you want to teach them a lesson not, like, become a convicted felon.
Nice, Thanks for the tip! I’m not a pussy and i can bury a body, but this could help someone else!
